My podcast is up!

I’ve bitten the bullet

My travel post cast is up on Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/rovinground/down-the-rabbit-hole-episode-1

If you love traveling and hearing travel stories, give it a listen. Andrew Wade was an amazing first subject and I was so happy that he was willig to be my guinea pig.

I’m already recording interviews for my second episode and it should be up soon.

I’m really happy that it is up and running and hope you like it and I’m so glad that I am getting the chance to meet so many awesome people.

Travel safe!

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It’s okay to talk about sexual assault

According to Statistics Canada, one in four girls and one in eight boys have been sexually abused by the time they are eighteen. Seventy per cent of rape victims in Canada know their rapist. How much of these statistics are children of divorce?

Divorce is understandable.

Sometimes marriage just doesn’t work out. With kids are involved, it is even more heartbreaking.

Divorcees not only have themselves to worry about when getting back into dating, they have to worry about the affect their new relationship will have on their kids and vice versa. What scares me, especially when it is children that I care about, is the fact that the relationship between parents and their new significant other is different than the child’s relationship with the significant other. The feelings of Mom or Dad being replaced, having someone/multiple someones in their lives or feeling like they don’t matter as much to their parents anymore can have an impact of kids growing up in two family homes.

Parents themselves can become blinded, both by an excitement of a new relationship and the pressures of the old one, that they could miss the signs if something goes wrong between step parents and children?

When a child is sexually assaulted by someone that is in a relationship with Mom or Dad, they may feel that their parent would side with their perpetrator since they are dating. Or feel that they are in the wrong when it is an adult doing it who they are supposed to trust.

Off the top of my head, I can think of a dozen little girls and boys in my life that this better not happen to but it’s one of those things that parents may miss or children don’t feel comfortable talking about.

After talking with one of these parents last night, I was told that his little girl says Mom’s new boyfriend is okay. This made me wonder, how do we know that this is true?

To parents I say, don’t let your children suffer in silence. Let children know that they can talk to you if something is wrong.

Weddings or Funerals

Missing the party

I snuck out of bed, the clock said 2:00 but it didn’t matter. It was still early yet back home, where the party was.

In my family, we hear the words “I’m busy” a lot. Too much, in fact. Those words usually keep the long phone calls and surprise visits non-existent, choke the laughter and story telling that would have risen from long overdue conversations around a kitchen table, coffee cups constantly kept from being refilled from the old perk on the stove top.

Life gets in the way.

Until, that is, there is a wedding or a funeral.

The screen was dark and blurry. I could see smiling faces from the glow of the LED. Small snippets from a much bigger collage of merriment. I didn’t need to see any of it to picture how the party was going, bright and clear in my mind.

I could picture the old farm along the gravel drive; the silver of the grain bins lined against the treeline, the line of campers with outstretched awnings and the circlet of lawn chairs around a fire, coolers full of beer and rye, a couple aunties bringing out their wine, children zigzagging through the throngs of people and equipment, moving from one childhood game to another. I can imagine the front lawn in front of the family farmhouse, brown stained deck outstretched from the front door. The grass neatly trimmed for the party, filled to the brim with people and gear, my sister moving from tents to campers to tents again talking with anyone she recognized, hearing her tell me earnestly that this was the man whose brother’s wife ran the store in Lake Lenore before it closed in the 80s’ or that I went to school with this woman’s nieces daughters in Annaheim. My brothers are scatters among the cousins, old friends and small town characters, drinking around the camp fire as they remember old stories of hockey games and English classes from a childhood that felt like yesterday.

I can see it all. It’s not that hard.

Small towns equals many people you don’t get to see very often. Weddings equal seeing everyone again.

All bets are off then. Come hell or high water, everyone will be there.

They gather from kilometres around to celebrate life and love. Remember old times and younger faces. Long forgotten memories and eager shouts of “remember when”, “remember that time,” and “oh yeah, I totally forgot about that.”

It’s hard to be on the outside looking in. Missing the stories of growing up together and past get-togethers. The belly laughs that make your sides ache and your eyes water. The knowing smiles and long looks of love between the brides and grooms, old and new.

I hope you know how much I long to be there.

Bored or not enjoying it

History of trying new things…and not sticking with them

As I get older, I think about how I’m going to teach my children to be creative, curious, socially minded people.

I guess this is why I’m trying to figure out places in my life where I could do some work.

This is my one biggest pet peeve with myself. I hate to practice.

I love doing new things, but I think myself a failure if I am not good at it right away.

As soon as I feel I’m a failure, I give up.

The only thing I’ve ever practiced was my writing. Sometimes, I still feel like a failure at it but it is one of the things that I enjoy enough to keep on working at it.

This brings up the question, am I easily bored or do I just know what I like to do.

Lately, I got the urge to draw. So today my boyfriend bought me a 100 page sketch pad and pencils.

I almost told him not to because I know I’ll draw for a week and forget about it.Alden is hotter than this

These fears were confirmed as I drew a horrible sketch of him reading the paper in Tim Hortons. I fail, I want to stop.

This comes back to the enjoying it part. I know I hate doing portraits but I love drawing landscape. Now, do I keep practicing portraits until I enjoy it or do I go on drawing landscapes because I enjoy it already.This brings me back to the original point:How do you teach a child to stick with something if I can’t stick with anything myself. Or from a different angle; how can you tell when the time is right to give up on a skill you don’t think you have?