Raise women, not wives

Looking at you, Duggars (except Jana)

So I’ve unfortunately have seen an episode or two of (insert # of kids here) and Counting and I really couldn’t figure out why the show made me so uncomfortable.

It dawned on me during Jessa Duggar’s wedding.

I would never deny anyone the “happiest day of their life” but is that the only thing to look forward to in the Duggar household?

Is this family, which consists of 9 girls, just raising their girls to be wives instead of women? And, as women, is that really the only thing we have to look forward to? Are we that unfulfilled until we belong to a man?

These girls live in their parents house until they marry, moving into their husbands house. Do they not have any sense of independence or freedom to enjoy their lives or make their own decisions? Is it just moving from being one person’s possession to another?

When I saw the article in the October 6th edition of US Weekly (http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/19-kids-and-counting-rules-of-romance-inside-the-duggars-world-2014249), I had to give it a read to see if what I got from the TV show was all there is to the Duggars.

While some of their philosophies do carry some ground, the article does hold the traditional female role vibe.

It is the girls who must be careful to not arouse male attention but they are in service of their husbands.

Some quotes from the article:

“The [Duggar] girls agree being alone with guys put them in grave ‘moral danger’.”

“The First Kiss Happens at the Alter: Waiting ensures ‘there’s no regrets,’ Michelle, 48, says. In the meantime, the courting couple can focus on the ‘spiritual and emotional aspects of a relationship’.” (I agree to some extent. There is more to marriage than sex but really? No kissing either? Kissing is fun.)

“Duggar women don’t get headaches. ‘Anyone can fix him lunch, but only one person can meet that physical need of love.'” (So we are all sex slaves then?)

“Jessa…shares that no sex before marriage is ‘good motivation’ for a short engagement.”

These people are breeding wives and the public is eating it up. Getting married is the only thing that is expected of the girls and the only aspect of life that the TLC show focuses on. Which led me to Jana Duggar, the apparent black sheep of the family.

After some more digging (which made me feel all dirty), I discovered more about Jana, the oldest daughter, who was rumored to be leaving the show solely because of her lack of air time. OK Magazine had to have a piece dedicated to her life to show that she does other things besides think about boys and dating (sorry Michelle, “courting”) and is actually doing a lot of amazing things (http://okmagazine.com/photos/jana-duggar-cinderella-outcast-19-kids-and-counting/photo/1001134824/).

In the midst of traveling, being a firefighter and a midwife, all while *gasps* remaining single, she is bashed by the media for not following in her younger sisters footsteps.

And in case you didn’t know, her sisters are married with children before turning 25.


http://www.crushable.com/2014/10/15/entertainment/jana-duggar-not-courting-or-engaged-why-theories-lesbian-19-kids-and-counting/ (yes, this one might be satirical but still pisses me off)

So according to many news agencies, Jana is destined to be the spinster aunt to all those little Duggars her sisters and sister-in-laws are going to breed. Good for her. Jana may be the light in the dismal Duggar tunnel.

Yet she is the least talked about sister because she isn’t courting, married or pregnant. I guess TLC doesn’t want to send the message that there is more to life than marriage and kids. God forbid the girls want to see the world, have their own apartment or *gasps* not get married but I guess if they do we just won’t talk about it.

Thanks TLC and Duggars, I guess you are not solely the ones to blame. Go Jana.


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