So I was talking to a co-worker today about my seven year relationship with my boyfriend. I summed it up in a single sentence; I fell in love with my exact opposite.
I am an extrovert. I get restless being at home for too long, I love going out and meeting new people. I am a journalist so I have no trouble talking to strangers.
He is an introvert. He’d rather stay in unless there are definite plans. He can talk to people but only if he knows they share common interests.
This has deterred me at times and we have had our share of difficulties. But there is no one I’d rather be with. It is easy to be in a relationship when you both want to go out every weekend or stay in every night. But when you never agree on what to do, especially when one of you feels strongly one way or the other, it can be a tense discussion. It was hard at first. I felt confined to our apartment since I didn’t understand the concept of going out by yourself even though you had a boyfriend. When we were living together, we broke up, which only led to me being comfortable with going out by myself and coming home to him at the end of the night since we were still living together because of our year long apartment lease.
Unofficially, this break up didn’t last long, especially considering we are still together. I do get a lot of the questions, like “why isn’t your boyfriend here,” or “how come we never see him” which is understandable for friends to want to meet him. I understood a long time ago that this would have to be under his terms. Some friends think my boyfriend is an ass hole just because they met him on a night where I had to force him to come out with me, which totally changed his attitude. I’ve also gotten a lot of the “he’s just not right for you” crap, and usually from family. In the past, this has planted doubt in our relationship but this is something I’ve finally gotten over that. Those words don’t scare me anymore. Just another part of our relationship that I have learned to understand.
Learning to understand what he was thinking and feeling at certain times was the best thing for our relationship. Even though he would rather make jokes than actually tell me flat out, sometimes his jokes speak louder than anything else. All of this makes it sound like a very one sided attempt at making our relationship work but I know he does his best to understand me and knowing that makes me feel just as loved as my love for him.
Related Content: 13 Mindful Ways To Make An Introvert Feel Loved: http://www.buzzfeed.com/alisoncaporimo/make-an-introvert-feel-loved?bffb&utm_term=4ldqpgp#4ldqpgp