I am a generally positive person and my biggest pet peeve is friends being negative towards themselves.
I am all over that shit because I have some really awesome friends.
But I don’t allow myself the same courtesy.
I started a new position at the end of December. Instead of celebrating what I was learning, I would put myself down for the little things that I would do wrong or forget. The majority of the time, I would do it in front of co-workers and my bosses.
The thing is, as soon as you do that in front of people, you give permission for them to do the same.
It’s one thing to forget to do something or get it wrong, and especially in front of my bosses, I felt that putting myself down showed that I cared so much about getting it right that I would sacrifice my own self-worth to the gods of retail. I would label them, “Becky mistakes”, small minuscule things that I thought I was so stupid for getting wrong.
Some of this came from being a beginner supervisor and thinking others were right before consulting my own knowledge on the subject. Most of it came from wanting to show that I cared enough to put myself down.
C0-workers noticed, and not in a good way.
For a week, I dreaded going to work because I knew it would just be another trip on the river guilt, population, me.
Then something wonderful happened.
My boss went on vacation and I was left to handle things on my own, no one looking over my shoulder and no one to act as my safety net.
It was the most freeing feeling in the world.
I was confident in handling problems. I’d calmly look for solutions without that feeling of panic rising in my chest.
And co-workers noticed that too.
Showing your boss that you care about your job by being hard on yourself about your mistakes isn’t as good as showing them that you are confident about picking yourself up and doing it right next time.
In honour of lent, instead of giving up things, let give up negative things we don’t like about ourselves. Let’s celebrate the things that make us awesome instead of the things that we don’t think we are good at.