I’ve never pushed myself.
I’ve always been quick to give up.
I’ve always been quick to use the word can’t in place of won’t.
It’s easy to make that replacement.
I honestly don’t know the difference anymore.
I can’t say I’ve ever cared much for running marathons, maybe for the reason of thinking I’d never be better than the other girls in class.
I’m starting to realize that wasn’t the point. Being better than my past self should have been the point.
I don’t know why that didn’t sink in until now.
Is it too late to get better. Not because I’m getting older but because this attitude is so deeply ingrained that can I change it?
It’s going to be hard. It’s got to hurt. And I need to realize that.