It’s okay to be single

I know I’m not the best person to say this since I’ve been married for over a year. I’m going to throw that out there right now.

However, I was single before being married.

And I did not love myself.

What’s brought this up is watching the movie How to be Single. I wasn’t expecting much. I’ve seen enough rom coms to expect the boy to get the girl, blah blah blah.

It was almost like a mini Love Actually with different couples connected but everyone with their own story of finding love, finding themselves or, in the case of Rebel Wilson, just being kick ass and totally cool with herself and her life.

For a rom com, thanks to Rebel Wilson’s brash honesty, it spoke very openly about how someone can change when they enter a relationship.

I was very lucky to find myself while in a relationship and had a boyfriend/husband who was very supportive of that. That is not always the case.

For Alice, it’s a completely different journey and one that was not easy. Every fear about being alone, every expectation about love and relationships are right there. Enter Joe, a guy on the complete opposite side of the spectrum. His fear of settling and different expectations of love and relationships are also very much right there on screen.
It’s great how this all flawlessly connects into this realistic, modern look at being single.

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Bus riding enthusiast

Call me crazy but I love riding the bus.

I got on the bus to Saskatoon last night and I couldn’t get over how much I missed riding the bus.

Part of it is that I love to be moving. Any time where I am moving from point A to point B is exciting for me.

Now living in a place where I have no transit service (you get to go across the city for $3, what’s not to love, guys), the times when I will be using the bus now will only be to go across the province.

I loved it last night because there is no better way to see a province or a city but by a bus. All the little towns you stop at, all the landscape you get to see. For someone who has never owned her own car, this is the next best thing.

The breath before the show

Being the youngest sibling, I inherited a lot from my older brothers and sister.

I owe my love of theatre from one of my three brothers. His love of the stage came from reading plays, performing on stage, discussing acting. He has a great talent at many things, things that some people think would be more practical.

Yet his love of the theatre goes so deep that no one would be able to convince him otherwise.

He passed this love on to me. I remember being little and he would tell me stories from Shakespeare’s repertoire, Romeo and Juliet, A Midsummer Night’s Dream, classic stories of love and betrayal.

From high school to university, there are only a few of his many plays that I have missed over the years. You miss a lot when you decide to move away from home and my brother’s plays is one of the things I miss the most, next to family get-together, weddings and babies.

I think of my brother every time I go to a performance and sit breathlessly in the dark waiting for the show to start. That anticipation before the show is the most amazing feeling.

The score….

doesn’t always tell the whole story

Try telling me that women’s football isn’t hardcore. Go ahead, try.

We hit as hard as we can. We work as hard as anyone else in the biz. We play our hearts out. We lay it all out there on the field.

The score doesn’t always tell that story.

We’ve played two games so far this season, both with scores that makes it look like we got our asses whooped.

This past Saturday, you look at the score and you see four touchdowns and a conversion versus one touchdown and a conversion. You see a team that was dominated by another.

This is not the full story.

When we lost the game, one coach described our reaction perfectly.

He said that he has never coached a team who lost a game and cheered like they won the championship.

In the history of the team, this score means so much more to the veterans.

In their history, our team has never held this certain opposing team under 60 points since they started playing years ago.

The improvement is there. The hard work of both the coaches and players is there. The score does not reflect that.

You can’t look at the score and see that story.

 

Pool cues and footballs

I love that natural confidence induced high. There are only certain times I get that high.

A) hair down, high heels and rocking the pool table.
B) playing sports, sweating my ass off and loving it.
C) dancing down the street with my headphones in

D) right before I look in a mirror

For some reason, my mirror is my arch nemesis a lot of the time. You see yourself as you go about your day. You can’t literally see yourself but in your minds eye, you look a certain way. I have a completely different outlook on how I look.

As soon I look in the mirror, every moment that I ever thought myself as sexy comes crashing down and I can’t stand videos or pictures of myself. Some days I see myself as pretty, even if the person in the mirror isn’t the same as the person in my mind. Other days, I just want to know who this stranger is looking back.

I love myself on the inside. My personality rocks.

But the person in the mirror, I don’t see a connection.

Thank you, Coach

So I’ve joined a women’s tackle football team this spring.

I didn’t know about the team until last fall. I’ve never been to games or practice until this season. But I will admit I went into this team thinking it’s going to get the same level of respect that all women’s teams do.

It’s been a lot of fun and everyone is working hard. We are taking the drills, the lessons, the plays very seriously because we want to be taken seriously.

The best thing organizers have done this year is get coaching staff that are committed to the game.

They’ve taken to this responsibility as they would with any other team, putting in the same (if not more) time and effort as they would with male teams. Now the coaches are male, except for one female coach.

But you don’t have to look very hard to see that they have committed themselves to the team.

Part of me wants to deny that gender would be a problem but I’ve had encounters with people who become surprised when I use the words women and tackle football in the same sentence.

I went to watch the Grey Cup at a bar here in Halifax, hoping to write an article about CFL fans in a town with no team. I got talking with people.

One gent in particular with his two friends, one male, one female. As soon as I said I play football, he politely nodded.

“Touch?”

“No, full tackle, full gear.”

“Oh, I didn’t know women could tackle.”

To this I responded, “why?”

This self proclaimed misogynist started to stutter. Oh course, by now I knew where his mind was going.

“You think we’re too delicate to play?”

“Well, yeah.”

Looking at his female friend, we rolled our eyes in unison.

“But, women have babies,” was his witty argument for why we couldn’t possibly play tackle football.

Continuing with his logic he said that since we carry a human being in our bodies for 9 months, shouldn’t we protect that? We might get hurt and then what will happen to our baby making abilities.

Either this guy was in a class all his own or yes, there are men out there who would agree with him.

I can tell the coaches realize there is a difference between the male and female teams. One of them catches himself every time he starts to use male descriptors, like guys or linemen, and always changes it to ladies and line woman or line person.

Now I am not pointing this out as a bad thing. He know he is coaching women but I can tell this hasn’t changed his attitude towards his players.

So to the coaches who are treating us like any other football team and putting in the same passion and effort as they’d put in anywhere else, thank you!