It’s okay to be single

I know I’m not the best person to say this since I’ve been married for over a year. I’m going to throw that out there right now.

However, I was single before being married.

And I did not love myself.

What’s brought this up is watching the movie How to be Single. I wasn’t expecting much. I’ve seen enough rom coms to expect the boy to get the girl, blah blah blah.

It was almost like a mini Love Actually with different couples connected but everyone with their own story of finding love, finding themselves or, in the case of Rebel Wilson, just being kick ass and totally cool with herself and her life.

For a rom com, thanks to Rebel Wilson’s brash honesty, it spoke very openly about how someone can change when they enter a relationship.

I was very lucky to find myself while in a relationship and had a boyfriend/husband who was very supportive of that. That is not always the case.

For Alice, it’s a completely different journey and one that was not easy. Every fear about being alone, every expectation about love and relationships are right there. Enter Joe, a guy on the complete opposite side of the spectrum. His fear of settling and different expectations of love and relationships are also very much right there on screen.
It’s great how this all flawlessly connects into this realistic, modern look at being single.

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Movie Review – Pitch Perfect 2

Awesome for so many reasons

So besides the post I just put up about Rebel Wilson’s awesomeness, there are many other reasons this movie was awesome. The premise is your usual Bella’s lose everything and have to get to the top again story but I’m willing to overlook that for these reasons.

Not ALL about finding a guy

After the last movie, you know that Becca and Jessie are together. That is not what this movie is about. It wasn’t about their love story, it was about Becca figuring out her life after the college. Jessie is there in the background, he supports her and he is there for her, he’s just not all that Becca cares about. The reality of that is what is needed in movies today, that women can have it all and be alright.

College Reality

There is more to life than love. Anna Kendrick is brilliant as Becca and you can see she is wanting to break free of that college existence. It can be scary, they don’t downplay that. They embrace it and say that it is okay to have that apprehension.

Accept your friends for who they are

No matter how crazy your friends are, they are a part of you. From Lilly and Cynthia to Ashley and Jessica, everyone is crazy and quirky and we love them anyway.

You can still get back up

When you’re down, there is nothing that can stop you from getting back up again. How far you go is up to you. To get there, you have to be yourself. They didn’t go into their last competition trying to be DSM because they knew it wouldn’t work. They went in there being the Bellas.

There is no body shaming Fat Amy

I fell in love with Rebel Wilson in the first Pitch Perfect.

The first time you meet her, she is smart, confident and awesome. Just hearing her say the line about why she calls herself Fat Amy is perfect.

Aubrey: You call yourself Fat Amy?

Fat Amy: Yeah, so twig bitches like you don’t do it behind my back

Then I watched the second one and I was just as blown away.

Thank you, Rebel and the writers of the movie for such a kick ass character.

Fat Amy: Would you like some of my confidence because I could tone mine down a notch.

When it comes to love, talent, and living life, never do you hear the words, “I’m too fat to deserve any of that,” and I have heard that before in movies and TV shows.

Spoiler Alert for anyone who hasn’t seen the movie yet but there is a part where she turns down a certain someone when he suggests they be boyfriend/girlfriend.

Instead you hear about how much of a free spirit she is and how she can’t be tied down.

Fat Amy: I can’t be tied down by anything. I’m on a walkabout. I’m a free-range pony that can’t be tamed (makes trotting noises). I’m like a firework (pew pew). I can’t be tied down.

There is no question how awesome this character is and there is no even though she is fat to add on to that. Questions about confidence as a fat women are more condescending than reporters realize, like they are daring them to be confident even though they are “fat”.

Grow up, world. Fat is not the worst thing a person can be and society needs to realize this.

I like my men in black and white

I love black and white movies.

I fell in love with Cary Grant and Gary Cooper early in life, through films like Father Goose and the Westerner. The more I watched the more I needed more. More black and white men.

And I soon discovered them, the dazzling, suave and classy men spanning 40 years of classic movie history.

Men who make your jaw drop when they walk into the scene.

Men who make you swoon the second they start to speak and giggle uncontrollably at their wisecracks and slapsticks.

Men who drip with class from their fedora hat to the flower in their lapel to their dark suits to their shiny shoes.

Give me these men who are the true definition of gentlemen.

Give me Cary Grant, who was never afraid of strong, independent women like Sophia Loren and Katherine Hepburn.

Give me Humphrey Bogart, who saw the treasure he had on Lauren Becall and never tried to turn her into something she wasn’t.

Give me Gene Kelly, the charming and talented actor of Judy Garland dreams in The Pirate.

Give me Sidney Poitier as he builds a church in Mexico for German nun in Lilies of the Field.

Give me Gregory Peck as he cons princess Audrey Hepburn but ends up falling for her in Roman Holiday.

Give me Laurence Olivier as the untameable Heathcliff of Wuthering Heights.

Give me Paul Newman as the troubled and proud husband of Elizabeth Taylor in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof.

Give me men who didn’t realize how their smile drive women wide. Who were oblivious to their own charm. Who remained themselves even when fame became an eventuality.

Give me men. Give me hardworking, charismatic, and sexy.

Fat characters without fat are still characters

Get a better premise

So this post comes from two different things; one, the book/movie Relative Happiness, and two, the Big Girls Do It book series.

In both, the main adjective of these kick ass female characters is that they are fat. Fat is their premise.

This is the thing that the authors choose to define them as a character.

Why is this such a focus?

What if we wrote a “fat” character without acknowledging the fact that they have extra weight or using that to define the character.

What if we wrote a fat character like any other female protagonist in a romcom?

In most romcoms with a skinny protagonist, heartbreak happens because of some personality flaw. In a romcom with a fat protagonist, it is because of her weight.

Here is Relative Happiness’s IMDB summary:

Plus sized and 30 years old, LEXIE IVY is a feisty Bed and Breakfast owner who desperately needs a date to her sisters wedding. In small town Nova Scotia, that’s no easy task, especially when the most eligible bachelor is Joss, the rough handyman fixing her roof. When Adrian, a handsome and charming guest, arrives and seems to take an interest in Lexie, she thinks all her problems are solved. But she misreads the situation and is soon reeling, believing her romantic dream has slipped away, maybe forever. After a series of hilarious mishaps and a reality check or two, Lexie opens her heart and eyes to see that love may be a lot closer than she thought. (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3269932/plotsummary?ref_=tt_ov_pl)

So let’s try taking out the fact that Lexie is “plus sized”:

Thirty year old LEXIE IVY is a feisty Bed and Breakfast owner who desperately needs a date to her sisters wedding. In small town Nova Scotia, that’s no easy task, especially when the most eligible bachelor is Joss, the rough handyman fixing her roof. When Adrian, a handsome and charming guest, arrives and seems to take an interest in Lexie, she thinks all her problems are solved. But she misreads the situation and is soon reeling, believing her romantic dream has slipped away, maybe forever. After a series of hilarious mishaps and a reality check or two, Lexie opens her heart and eyes to see that love may be a lot closer than she thought.

Does this make Lexie any less of an interesting character? Does the story seem any less believable since it is a “plus sized” woman going through the situation?

Let’s try it with the Big Girls series:

Gorgeous, rock-star guys like Chase Delany don’t go for girls like me. They go for supermodels and actresses, skinny-girls who never eat and spend all day working out. I’m not that girl. So when he locked his fiery brown eyes on me for the first time, I couldn’t quite believe it was really happening to me.

It was the second night I spent with him that I’ll never forget.

A little difficult but insecurity happens whether it is because of weight or personality:

Gorgeous, rock-star guys like Chase Delany don’t go for girls like me. They go for supermodels and actresses. I’m not that girl. So when he locked his fiery brown eyes on me for the first time, I couldn’t quite believe it was really happening to me.

It was the second night I spent with him that I’ll never forget.

Wow, not that hard at all.

Same questions; how does this change the story? How does it change how the audience sees the character?

The reason weight is such a big deal is that we make it a big deal.

What the synopsis of Relative Happiness and Big Girls is really saying is “despite being fat, this character is still awesome.”

What if we just said, “hey, there is this awesome character and she is going through shit.”

What if the audience focused on a strong, confident, amazing character instead of how the character is hideously over weight.

Related Content: Rachel Wiley’s “10 Honest Thoughts on Being Loved by a Skinny Boy” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tRFOTqTicvY

Rebel Wilson & Melissa McCarthy Vow To NOT Lose Weight? http://perezhilton.com/fitperez/2013-12-17-melissa-mccarthy-rebel-wilson-weight-loss-pact#.VJ9g-M8BA

Verge of 20

Movies that inspired my transition into my 20s

I moved into my own apartment two weeks after I turned 19. Even though I moved to a town where I was well connected to everyone, I remember watching a lot of movies in my basement bachelor pad. There are a select few that inspired me during that time; inspired me to write, inspired me to travel, inspired to me get out into the world and explore.

Under the Tuscan Sun:
A newly divorced writer is gifted a trip to Tuscany to get her mind off the disaster of her marriage. After finding a beautiful and beaten up villa, she moves in to try and fix both the house and herself.

The prospect of going on a trip to foreign country and then staying there was an interesting idea to almost 20 year old, especially one who is fond of writing. Her attitude towards this new world and what it gave her always made me want to discover my own Tuscany to plant my flag into. At 26, I moved to Nova Scotia from Saskatchewan, and though it is not Tuscany or some exotic foreign country, it is still my little piece of the world that is truly mine.

Pride and Prejudice:
The 2005 adaption of Jane Austen’s novel, Elizabeth Bennett navigates her way through social obligations, family relationships and the expectations of young women in 19th century English society.

Not only does the shots of the English countryside and amazing soundtrack lift my soul above the clouds every time I hear it but the story of not settling for anything but what you want has always taught me to question what I was accepting into my life.

Barefoot in the Park: Free-spirited, Cory (Jane Fonda), and uptight lawyer, Paul (Robert Redford) are newly married and moving into their first New York apartment.

Fonda and Redford were an amazing comedy duo and play off each other fluidly. With the help of Fonda’s legs, I even got my brother to watch it.

Even though the match isn’t exactly made in heaven, the couple learn to fight for each, defend each other and genuinely love each other. Having Jane Fonda as my go to strong female lead, I also knew that I was never going to let myself change for any man. Being young, idealistic and naive, I always wanted to find that kind of love in my life.

Being in the relationship I am in right now; and the fact that I will be in it for the rest of my life if it is up for me, I see a lot of similarities between Cory and Paul and my boyfriend and I. I’m more free-spirited and adventurous than he is but that will not stop us from having a happy life.