It’s okay to be single

I know I’m not the best person to say this since I’ve been married for over a year. I’m going to throw that out there right now.

However, I was single before being married.

And I did not love myself.

What’s brought this up is watching the movie How to be Single. I wasn’t expecting much. I’ve seen enough rom coms to expect the boy to get the girl, blah blah blah.

It was almost like a mini Love Actually with different couples connected but everyone with their own story of finding love, finding themselves or, in the case of Rebel Wilson, just being kick ass and totally cool with herself and her life.

For a rom com, thanks to Rebel Wilson’s brash honesty, it spoke very openly about how someone can change when they enter a relationship.

I was very lucky to find myself while in a relationship and had a boyfriend/husband who was very supportive of that. That is not always the case.

For Alice, it’s a completely different journey and one that was not easy. Every fear about being alone, every expectation about love and relationships are right there. Enter Joe, a guy on the complete opposite side of the spectrum. His fear of settling and different expectations of love and relationships are also very much right there on screen.
It’s great how this all flawlessly connects into this realistic, modern look at being single.

I am a ball player and so can you

Co-ed rec leagues piss me off.

Nine times out of ten, the team organizers get female players as a warm body.

I saw this so many times last year playing in a softball team in Halifax that I started calling people out on it. It was numerous games into the season and female players were still left to their own devices, swinging baseball bats like hockey sticks and looking like fools.

So many times I’ve heard the excuses; it’s their first game, blah blah blah. At your first game, you should at least be showing them how to swing a bat, when to run, when to hold up, basic rules. Step up, people.

Next reason, I can hit. I’ve been able to swing a bat and hit a ball since I was four years old.

Don’t move up on me. Sure, yes, I can’t hit as far as some guys, but there is a point where you are just downright insulting.

Playing ball tonight, even in an intermediate league with experienced women, left field moved right up to the edge of the grass when I came up.

So let’s see. I had solid hits all game. I look like I know what I’m doing. I switch hit and hit off field, you’ve seen me do it. And yet, you move up to a point in the field that is downright insulting. Yeah, way to call it, buddy.

Guys, come on. Women can and do play sports.

Wanna to make your team stronger, if your girls can’t play, show them how. Women coming up to bat, give them a little credit until they show you otherwise.

There is no body shaming Fat Amy

I fell in love with Rebel Wilson in the first Pitch Perfect.

The first time you meet her, she is smart, confident and awesome. Just hearing her say the line about why she calls herself Fat Amy is perfect.

Aubrey: You call yourself Fat Amy?

Fat Amy: Yeah, so twig bitches like you don’t do it behind my back

Then I watched the second one and I was just as blown away.

Thank you, Rebel and the writers of the movie for such a kick ass character.

Fat Amy: Would you like some of my confidence because I could tone mine down a notch.

When it comes to love, talent, and living life, never do you hear the words, “I’m too fat to deserve any of that,” and I have heard that before in movies and TV shows.

Spoiler Alert for anyone who hasn’t seen the movie yet but there is a part where she turns down a certain someone when he suggests they be boyfriend/girlfriend.

Instead you hear about how much of a free spirit she is and how she can’t be tied down.

Fat Amy: I can’t be tied down by anything. I’m on a walkabout. I’m a free-range pony that can’t be tamed (makes trotting noises). I’m like a firework (pew pew). I can’t be tied down.

There is no question how awesome this character is and there is no even though she is fat to add on to that. Questions about confidence as a fat women are more condescending than reporters realize, like they are daring them to be confident even though they are “fat”.

Grow up, world. Fat is not the worst thing a person can be and society needs to realize this.

The score….

doesn’t always tell the whole story

Try telling me that women’s football isn’t hardcore. Go ahead, try.

We hit as hard as we can. We work as hard as anyone else in the biz. We play our hearts out. We lay it all out there on the field.

The score doesn’t always tell that story.

We’ve played two games so far this season, both with scores that makes it look like we got our asses whooped.

This past Saturday, you look at the score and you see four touchdowns and a conversion versus one touchdown and a conversion. You see a team that was dominated by another.

This is not the full story.

When we lost the game, one coach described our reaction perfectly.

He said that he has never coached a team who lost a game and cheered like they won the championship.

In the history of the team, this score means so much more to the veterans.

In their history, our team has never held this certain opposing team under 60 points since they started playing years ago.

The improvement is there. The hard work of both the coaches and players is there. The score does not reflect that.

You can’t look at the score and see that story.

 

My Amazing Mom

She is going to protest every word written here but I believe them with all my heart.

She is the strongest person I know. I have never seen her be anything else.

She’s had her problems and I’ve seen her down and I’ve seen her cry. None of that means that she isn’t strong and amazing.

She moved two provinces away to be with my dad who she had only known 9 months and yet followed her heart to be with him. They had the most amazing marriage I had ever seen. No one has ever had a more truly romantic story than they did.

She is strong in her opinions and beliefs. She made the decision to have all five of her kids without drugs because she believed it would be better.

When my father died, she made the decision to mourn but not give up on life. She continues to be herself and she has not let the experience negatively change her.

I remember when I was 18 and living in Newfoundland for three months. The rest of the family had also moved away from home by then and even my dad was working in Alberta during that time.

She was alone. Maybe for the first time in her life, truly alone. Yet she did not pity or feel sorry for herself, she just went on with her life and continued to be amazing. She knew we were all okay and safe and that is all she needed to know.

I sometimes feel guilty about leaving home just because I know how much she worries about me. She has never pushed this guilt on me. She has always been the one to give me a push and say see how far you can go. Katimavik, university, Halifax, there has never been a time she told me not to do it because of the pain she would go through.

Times when I was sick or lonely, I heard the pain and nervousness in her voice as I’d tell her what I was going through.

Words that will always stick with me is both mom and dad saying, “you got to know.” They have not only said those words but practiced them, leaving decisions up me.

Do I go do Katimavik? You got to know.

Do I go to university? You got to know.

Do I go to Halifax and become a journalist? You got to know.

There was only one time dad broke this rule. I laugh every time I think of me telling him that I had dropped out of university because I was on the waiting list for Katimavik. No classes had started yet and I had everything planned when I got the call that I had a mere chance to travel. Classes, an apartment, a job, all cancelled in a day because I knew no matter what happened, I wanted that opportunity. Both him and my brother were furious that I had cancelled everything on a whim. My mom and my sister stood by me and trusted me to make this decision on my own.

When I got accepted into the program two weeks later, my dad couldn’t be happier. My brothers on the other hand went into full on protectorate modes.

My brother Darren was scared because I wouldn’t know anybody.

My brother Duane was worried because I could get hurt and be so far away.

Mom silenced them all because it was my decision to go.

So Mom, on your birthday, I want to thank you for showing me what I strong, hardworking woman is. I want to thank you for always supporting me, even when that meant not seeing each other for months and years. I want you to know that these gifts you have given me will never be forgotten.

Raise women, not wives

Looking at you, Duggars (except Jana)

So I’ve unfortunately have seen an episode or two of (insert # of kids here) and Counting and I really couldn’t figure out why the show made me so uncomfortable.

It dawned on me during Jessa Duggar’s wedding.

I would never deny anyone the “happiest day of their life” but is that the only thing to look forward to in the Duggar household?

Is this family, which consists of 9 girls, just raising their girls to be wives instead of women? And, as women, is that really the only thing we have to look forward to? Are we that unfulfilled until we belong to a man?

These girls live in their parents house until they marry, moving into their husbands house. Do they not have any sense of independence or freedom to enjoy their lives or make their own decisions? Is it just moving from being one person’s possession to another?

When I saw the article in the October 6th edition of US Weekly (http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/19-kids-and-counting-rules-of-romance-inside-the-duggars-world-2014249), I had to give it a read to see if what I got from the TV show was all there is to the Duggars.

While some of their philosophies do carry some ground, the article does hold the traditional female role vibe.

It is the girls who must be careful to not arouse male attention but they are in service of their husbands.

Some quotes from the article:

“The [Duggar] girls agree being alone with guys put them in grave ‘moral danger’.”

“The First Kiss Happens at the Alter: Waiting ensures ‘there’s no regrets,’ Michelle, 48, says. In the meantime, the courting couple can focus on the ‘spiritual and emotional aspects of a relationship’.” (I agree to some extent. There is more to marriage than sex but really? No kissing either? Kissing is fun.)

“Duggar women don’t get headaches. ‘Anyone can fix him lunch, but only one person can meet that physical need of love.'” (So we are all sex slaves then?)

“Jessa…shares that no sex before marriage is ‘good motivation’ for a short engagement.”

These people are breeding wives and the public is eating it up. Getting married is the only thing that is expected of the girls and the only aspect of life that the TLC show focuses on. Which led me to Jana Duggar, the apparent black sheep of the family.

After some more digging (which made me feel all dirty), I discovered more about Jana, the oldest daughter, who was rumored to be leaving the show solely because of her lack of air time. OK Magazine had to have a piece dedicated to her life to show that she does other things besides think about boys and dating (sorry Michelle, “courting”) and is actually doing a lot of amazing things (http://okmagazine.com/photos/jana-duggar-cinderella-outcast-19-kids-and-counting/photo/1001134824/).

In the midst of traveling, being a firefighter and a midwife, all while *gasps* remaining single, she is bashed by the media for not following in her younger sisters footsteps.

And in case you didn’t know, her sisters are married with children before turning 25.

www.inquisitr.com/1526486/jana-duggars-single-status-sparks-rumors-about-why-shes-not-behaving-like-her-sisters/

http://www.crushable.com/2014/10/15/entertainment/jana-duggar-not-courting-or-engaged-why-theories-lesbian-19-kids-and-counting/ (yes, this one might be satirical but still pisses me off)

So according to many news agencies, Jana is destined to be the spinster aunt to all those little Duggars her sisters and sister-in-laws are going to breed. Good for her. Jana may be the light in the dismal Duggar tunnel.

Yet she is the least talked about sister because she isn’t courting, married or pregnant. I guess TLC doesn’t want to send the message that there is more to life than marriage and kids. God forbid the girls want to see the world, have their own apartment or *gasps* not get married but I guess if they do we just won’t talk about it.

Thanks TLC and Duggars, I guess you are not solely the ones to blame. Go Jana.